Unsung Hero: King Helaman's Servant

Helaman 2:6-9

One of my favorite unsung heroes of the Book of Mormon, the Servant of Helaman. This dude seriously rocks. As the first undercover government agent mentioned in the Book of Mormon, we know about his methods only that he is described as 'having been out by night.' While the scripture doesn't specify, he clearly had 'go out by night' more thanto do so more than once in order to infiltrate such as secretive gang unit as the Gadiantons. And somehow he manages to obtain 'through disguise' information about their plans to assassinate Helaman and throw the government into chaos.

After which point the narrative jumps immediately to where he manages to intercept Kishkumen en route to assassinate Helaman with not a moment to spare. He gives him the secret gang sign / password, and Kishkumen confides his plans to murder Helaman. He accomplishes what one might call, in our world, a total James Bond moment of perfect timing. It would be interesting to know if Kishkumen 1) knew Helaman's servant personally before this moment, from his infiltration of the gang, 2) If he knew OF him before this by word of mouth, or if 2) He simply seized upon what he saw as an perfect method to infiltrate the palace, via the King's personal (and obviously trusted and highly placed) servant.

I personally think it is a combination of all three factors - Kishkumen has already successfully sneaked in and out of the palace once before during his previous successful royal assassination, so he clearly has a route. But he's a clever little bugger, so I can definitely see how having an inside man would appeal to him. And maybe they sealed off his old route - but since he was 'on the way' as it were, I doubt he had no plan of entrance. But, having met Helaman's servant and seeing what looked like, for whatever reason, a better way, Kishkumen seizes the opportunity, confides his plans, and asks him to lead the way.

Which leads us to the next event in the severely edited for scripture version we have, verse nine. Somehow, as they are skulking along on the way to murder the King, Helaman's servant manages to turn the tables and stab Kishkumen. First of all, Kishkumen is a seriously bad dude. Think, Jet Li. As a successful assassin and founder of a robber/murderer gang (which has in turn been taken over by the smooth-tongued Gadianton) I doubt he was some pansy rollover type who was easy to knock off. Which again reinforces that Helaman's Servant = James Bond.

The scriptural verse does provide the rather gory details that Kishkumen was stabbed 'to the heart' and that he fell dead 'without a groan.' Now, anyone who's watched any action films knows that it's extremely difficult to kill people with such pinpoint accuracy that they are dead before they can make a sound. If they don't get off a shout of alarm (which Kishkumen apparently didn't) they at least have a death groan or wheeze or rattle - unless the killer is SO pinpoint accurate that they die instantly and silently. Which is hard to do with a knife. With the Vulcan death grip, maybe not. But with a dagger? Probably only James Bond - and Helaman's servant.  Which again reverts to the theory that he was a prototype undercover government agent, because that kind of skill does not get developed scrubbing floors.

After Kishkumen's death, Helaman's servant sprints off to Helaman to report events, and to call in the SWAT team for gang unit roundup. But clever Gadianton has already become alarmed by Kishkumen's late return, and orders the gang to split. It's somewhat reassuring that King Helaman's SWAT team equivalent were not totally incompetent in rounding up criminals, and the scripture notes that Gadianton and Co. left 'by a secret way.'  Gadianton's ability to infiltrate and take over the gang started by Kishkumen (unless it was HIS all along...hmmmm), his operational planning awareness (WHY isn't Kishkumen back yet?!) and his forethought in having a secret route to skip town planned all along all serve to foreshadow why this particular bad guy will prove the downfall of the entire Nephite nation.

Discouragement: A Germ of Its Own

Elder Jeffrey R. Holland, For Times of Trouble, as published in "However Long and Hard the Road." (p4)

F. Scott Fitzgerald once said "Trouble has no necessary connection with discouragement, discouragement has a germ of its own...as different from trouble as arthritis is different from a stiff joint."

Elder Holland quotes this famous line from F. Scott Fitzgerald on P.2 and again on P.3, in his talk For Times of Trouble.  He then goes on to expound that discouragement is a nasty, growing, corrosive disease, one that "...takes an increasingly severe toll on our spirit, for it erodes the deepest religious commitments we can make - those of faith, hope, and charity."

I loved Elder Holland's point that when we allow ourselves to become discouraged, we turn our focus inward, and become increasingly self-absorbed. This self-centered focus inhibits our capacity to love and care for others, and decreases our desire to serve others, as well as our ability to love ourselves and our spouses. One of the greatest struggles I hear myself and other women who are dealing with infertility describe is the tendency to overwhelming discouragement. The bone-deep weariness that comes with  yet another doctor's office, yet another procedure, yet another time of waiting. As I read this talk, it was a gentle message from Heavenly Father that even in the midst of undeniable sorrow, discouragement did not necessarily need to follow. And rather than luxuriating in my 'right' to be discouraged, because, well, who wouldn't be, this sucks----instead I needed to go forward with faith, and battle against this 'germ' of discouragement, lest it infect my entire being.

In this talk Elder Holland shares the story of a 67 year old Thomas Edison, who had yet to make any of the inventions for which he is now famous. (And isn't that an lesson on 'retirement!'). Anyway, there was a huge warehouse fire that burned down everything he had, required the fire companies from 8 different towns to control the blaze. Edison's reaction? First, he called his daughter and asked her "Where's your mother? Tell her to go get her friends. They'll never see another fire like this as long as they live."  Just before dawn the next morning he announced plans to re-build, standing in the ashes of everything he had once had.

The moral of the story? Times of trouble can and will come to everyone, but discouragement is not the inevitable companion of trouble. It stems from an entirely different source. Trouble is impossible to avoid, but to allow or disallow discouragement is a choice we make. And when we truly understand this principle, when facing these 'times of trouble' we are empowered to make a different choice than discouragement, and/or depression. We can choose to be happy, to see the good, to recognize that at the very least the fire was impressive. I remember one week in our marriage where an astonishing number of things had gone wrong...when yet another thing exploded in our faces, Richard and I looked at each other and just started laughing, enjoying the disaster, the unlikely coinciding of all of these events in such a short time frame.  Today I don't remember the details of all the things that went wrong, I just remember the laughter. There is a lesson in that, as well, I think.

If Ye are Prepared Ye Shall Not Fear

Elder Jeffrey R. Holland, For Times of Trouble, as published in "However Long and Hard the Road." (p3)

"If ye are prepared ye shall not fear." (D&C 38:30). The scriptures teach that preparation - prevention, if you will - is perhaps the major weapon in our arsenal against discouragement and self-defeat. Of course, some things are not under our control. Some disappointments come regardless of our effort and preparation, for God wishes us to be strong as well as good."

This section really resonated with me in my study today, because I seem to be feeling a lot of fear in my life lately.  Richard will be starting a job where he travels 5 days a week and is home for 2 of them. Despite feeling that this is the absolute best thing for our family at this time, and being tremendously grateful for the financial blessings it will bring, (hopefully enabling us to grow our family), I am terrified of the emotional price we might pay. I keep telling myself that we will work through it, that we can always quit if the cost is too high, that modern technology gives us so many mediums for contact that it will hardly seem like he is gone at all. I even tell myself that since he has worked full time while simultaneously completing two different advanced degrees programs for the duration of our married life, I will hardly notice any real reduction of time spent with Richard. But in my heart of hearts, I am still afraid.

This fear comes on top of our continuing struggle with infertility. A struggle that at times, often in unexpected moments, will leave me breathless with pain and fighting to hold back tears. It is a challenge that sometimes fills me with overwhelming fear: That I will never be a mother, that I will never hold a child of my own, that Richard will never have a son or daughter. It is a powerful, deep, paralyzing fear.

In view of my current struggles, scripture and wisdom on how to combat fear are becoming some of my most treasured discoveries.  For some reason the term 'self-defeat' stood out to me in this quote. The idea that not only could trials and troubles and the adversary's best efforts defeat me, I could defeat myself. The preparation Elder Holland is referring to here is both your relationship with God and your habits of holiness in your everyday life. Keeping a regular habit of prayer, scripture study and church attendance fill your lamp with the oil of testimony and faith, so that when the troubling trials arrive, (not IF, but WHEN) they can be faced with courage.

I also I liked Elder Holland's emphasis that even for the prepared, discouragements and trials will still come. I used to be afraid to be a mother, concerned that I might get bored, or not be equal to the task. So I prepared and prepared and prepared, taking classes, reading books, taking notes on parenting styles. And yet this preparation did NOT prepare me for being unable to conceive. That trial still came. But what carries me through it, on the darkest, most fearful, most paralyzing days, is the other preparation I did to be a mother.  My study of the scriptures, my testimony of tithing, the invaluable lesson I learned during 18 mths on a mission. My knowledge of how to plead with my Father in Heaven for more grace, more mercy, more comfort. The precious habits of preparation I gained from  previous trials, which taught me where to go to find a haven, a place of loving kindness, a place where arms are wrapped "unfailing 'round me."


On the hard days and through the hard times, I pin my faith on the concept that "all these things will work together for my good"(Romans 8:28) and that it is not enough to simply be righteous, we must also be strong. Strong enough to face our fears, to take the Lord's hand, and walk the path He has given us to walk. And hope with burning faith that these "tutoring trials" will grant me His image in my countenance (Alma 5:14) , that when he sees me, I will be like him. (Moroni 7:38).

Hold On

Elder Dieter F. Uchtdorf  “You Matter to Him”

General Conference of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, October 2011.

 It is sometimes hard to understand why we or our loved ones experience trials and pain, often while others seem to have a free pass through all the toughest parts of life. I personally believe that every single person will at some point in their life experience great tragedy and heartbreaking sorrow. If you are experiencing it now, my heart goes out to you.  If you have experienced it in the past, take a minute to flex the strong spiritual muscles and faith you developed to get you through it, to enjoy the strength that now resides at your very core. You are a survivor.  

Why Another Blog?

I have decided that an important element of my personal study of the scriptures and the words of the Prophets is the meta-thinking that happens when I write about what I am learning.  As I write I seem to learn even more, a process that is described by Elder Richard G. Scott in his October 2009 General Conference Address “To Acquire Spiritual Guidance.”  You can read the whole talk at that link, but a short excerpt from his description of how he receives revelation is included below.

“As each impression came, I carefully wrote it down. In the process, I was given precious truths that I greatly needed in order to be a more effective servant of the Lord…I continued to write the feelings that flooded into my mind and heart as faithfully as possible. After each powerful impression was recorded, I pondered the feelings I had received to determine if I had accurately expressed them in writing…I believe that you can leave the most precious, personal direction of the Spirit unheard because you do not respond to, record, and apply the first promptings that come to you.”

I relate strongly to Elder Scott, perhaps because he frequently addresses exactly how to hear and understand the guidance of the Holy Spirit in your life, something that I am always anxious to learn how to do better.  And also because I feel that he, like me, finds great power in words, and in the process of writing. As a writer, this process of recording seems to be especially important and effective for me, perhaps because words hold such influence and meaning in my life.

In the address mentioned above, and when I have been privileged to hear him speak in person, Elder Scott consistently encourages individuals to write down  the promptings they receive from the Lord, that when we take the time to record our spiritual insights and promptings, often the Lord takes that opportunity to teach us even more.  And in recording them we are effectively telling the Lord that we are willing to receive even more knowledge and learning through the Holy Spirit.

Sometimes the knowledge, enlightenment, or understanding I gain from my personal study is too personal, or individual to be shared, and will remain in my digital journal.  However, often I believe that my thoughts and ideas are about challenges and struggles which are universal. So when they are not too personal, I have decided to share them via my blog. Lately, I have been feeling more intently my baptismal covenant to “stand as a witness of God, at all times, and in all things and in all places…” (Mosiah 18:9) And Paul’s challenge to Christians worldwide “For I am not ashamed of the gospel of Jesus Christ: for it is the power of God unto salvation...” (Romans 1:16 ).  Sharing my insights and testimony of Christ on my blog is a way in which I am striving to be a better witness of Him, and a better example for my (future) children.

Originally, I had planned to just include them as part of my current blog, but if I succeed in writing daily entries, that creates 2 postings per day on many days, which is a bit overwhelming. However, I am reluctant to separate them completely, as the secular and religious aspects of my life are so intertwined. So, the solution I have come up with is to include a link to my SST Blog Entry for the day whenever I post in Chronicles.

The scriptures references I include in my Scripture Study Thoughts blog will usually be quoted from the KJV of the Holy Bible, and the Book of Mormon (you can order your own free copy from this link  “I would like a free Book of Mormon.”) I will also include quotes from the General Conferences of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, which happen semi-annually. One of the tenets of the LDS (or Mormon) faith is that God has restored a Prophet and 12 Apostles on the earth today, the same as in biblical times. At these ‘General Conferences’ of the church, the Prophet and 12 Apostles of our time, address the current challenges of our world, giving advice and counsel to people worldwide.